Why Do We Need a Ketubah?

If we are a non-religious interfaith couple, why do we need a Ketubah?

I am not Jewish, but my husband-to-be is. He is not a practicing Jew, however. A rabbi is performing the wedding to make his parents happy. So, with that in mind, why would a ketubah be beneficial to us in our marriage?

While some may not understand what I am about to say, it makes perfect sense and answers your question empirically. A Jewish wedding includes several elements that are unique compared with a non‑Jewish wedding. I call these unique elements "objects of awareness." This is not unusual: many people own a trinket, a special box holding personal treasures, or an item that means a great deal to them. Such objects remind them of something wonderful, nostalgic, and often spiritual. In most weddings today, the universal object of awareness is the wedding rings. The rings carry a unique energy meaningful to every couple; they represent each partner’s fidelity to the other.

In a Jewish wedding there are other symbolic customs. The chuppah symbolizes a safe and loving home. The blessing over the wine is an invitation to bring joy into the home; each time this tradition is honored, more meaningful energy is added to the cup and remains.

The ketubah represents the couple’s special and unique relationship and their intentions for each other, recorded on a document personalized and signed by the couple, witnesses, and the rabbi. As a ketubah artist, I believe it is very important to have a ketubah that reflects the essence of the couple’s intentions toward one another. These sentiments do not need to be religious; they can express a level of commitment to each other and to the family they intend to build.

Commercial ketubah artists will make additions and changes to the text or image of the ketubah, but working directly with a couple can become an annoyance; therefore, they charge extra for some of the most important parts of the ketubah. Making several changes and personalizing it takes time away from an artist’s other responsibilities, and therefore they will charge extra for that time. I understand this at a business level; however, with a legal and important document such as your ketubah, it is important to make it your own. I don’t feel it is fair to penalize the couple for the custom touches that would make this artwork and contract most meaningful. Without customization and personalization of a ketubah, there is little reason to have one—it’s just a print. If you wish to have a single reminder containing both your intentions for each other and the most valuable work of art that celebrates the two of you, my question is: why wouldn’t you or any couple want a ketubah? You can see a collection of customizable ketubot here.